No Confidence? Fake It. — RobGoodlatte.com

One of the greatest career and life lessons I learned in college was one I picked up freshman year from my friend Dave. He’s a guy who projects confidence in any situation, in the face of any intimidating social environment. Awkward introduction? Not for Dave. Anxiety-ridden job interview? Dave wouldn’t even sweat.

This isn’t to say Dave’s abundance of confidence was always a blessing—he rarely relinquished a position in argument and often entered into pissing matches. But to a younger and more timid me, Dave’s seemingly limitless reserve of self-confidence was a quality I deeply envied.

When we hang out with our friends, their mannerisms, postures, and other behavior tend to rub off on us—psychologists call this “the chameleon effect”. Just by hanging out with Dave, I began to pick up behaviors such as making eye contact, maintaining taller posture, using hand gestures, and speaking assertively. I still didn’t possess the internal confidence I coveted, but I began acting as if I did. I slowly recognized that my change in behavior affected how others perceived me. My ideas were taken more seriously and others placed more trust in me.

I soon began “faking it”—deliberately acting more confident and self-assured. At first this was un-natural. Acting confident required a lot of conscious thought to think out exactly what to say and how to say it. Internally, I still felt awkward and anxious in high-pressure situations, but I did my best to hide my fear under my newfound confidence armor.

Over time a strange thing happened: I stopped having to make an effort. I began asserting confidence without thinking about it, which had to uncanny effect of boosting my self-esteem. By pretending I was confident I became confident.

Why am I writing this? Because I’ve known too many designers, programmers and artists who possess unbelievable talent, but slip up in job interviews because their speech and physical presence don’t communicate confidence. There’s a natural tendency amongst creative people to self-criticize — a fantastic motivator for improvement — but this can be self-defeating in situations where you must talk about your work. Just put on the façade. Confidence is an amazing social currency, but the secret is: you can be your own mint.

To borrow a line from Jim Coudal: the meek won’t inherit the earth, the creatives will. But we creatives must shed our meekness if we want to break through the limitations we place on ourselves.