Rob Goodlatte

Sometimes you’re just flat-out wrong. That’s the case with my assertion that faking confidence is a viable strategy for one’s life and career. It’s complete bullshit — I tested the theory myself and watched it fall short.

The funny thing about faking confidence is that you wind up convincing yourself that you’re always right, even when you’re wrong. The confidence game becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy — it’s right because, damnit, it’s right.

I’ve come to realize that self-confidence is not, in and of itself, a quality worthy of pursuit. True confidence is a byproduct of a far greater quality — authenticity. Faking confidence may alleviate tense social situations or win arguments, but it’s not a long-term solution. Rely on the confidence mask too often and you become arrogant, distanced, and self-absorbed. You become the over-confident jerk whose mannerisms you copied.

Authenticity, for me, means matching my actions and words to my passions. Worrying about projecting confidence is a dangerous, and ultimately irrelevant diversion from more important pursuits.

Photo by Matt Callow under Creative Commons.

1. The Shark February 18th at 10:40 am

   A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly
   perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

   Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

2. Jason Beaird February 18th at 12:18 pm

   It’s a bold move to admit that self-discovery in public. I struggle quite often with the issue of self-confidence. I’m usually a pretty humble, quiet guy, but more and more often I find myself responding to things I really do know in an arrogant way. That, to me, is worse than faking confidence. It’s good to ask yourself now and then whether the things you’re saying and doing reflect your true character and adjust accordingly.

3. Dan February 18th at 1:37 pm

   Good to see you posting again.

4. Alex Mather February 18th at 3:47 pm

   Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s how we grow. Sometimes you have to do dangerous things, fall, and get up to become better. Kids do it on ski slope, on the ice rink.

   It’s ok that you failed. You grew. You now can exude confidence when you believe in something. You now know when to turn on or off the bravado. You just had to fake it a few times to push your limits.

   Growing and learning after your teen years is a lot more difficult but just as important.

5. Brian Flanagan February 18th at 7:56 pm

   My sense has always been that people respond to honest, earnest, & genuine people. The kind of person that doesn’t is, generally, not the ideal kind of person with which to work.

   That said– something I’ve learned ten times over, but still haven’t _learned_ is that when you are confident about something, show it. Presenting work without obvious confidence often leads to clueless clients assuming the work’s no good.

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7. Johan Bakken February 26th at 11:28 am

   Great post, Rob. I really, really agree with you.

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10. Hoster June 27th at 4:47 am

    It’s a bold move to admit that self-discovery in public. I struggle quite often with the issue of self-confidence. I’m usually a pretty humble, quiet guy, but more and more often I find myself responding to things I really do know in an arrogant way. That, to me, is worse than faking confidence. It’s good to ask yourself now and then whether the things you’re saying and doing reflect your true character and adjust accordingly.

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